FEELING OVERWHELMED?

TODAY’S BLOG

FEELING OVERWHELMED?

We were all once a teenager. We are all aware of how awkward the transition can feel from childhood to adulthood, indeed in many respects I might suggest that it’s a lifetime’s transition. Heck, I can still feel not quite myself when I attend an event where I may not know m/any people, all that small talk… There are things that many of us would prefer not to have to deal with, but have to because we are, at least nominally, “responsible adults”, like getting your tax return done on time or setting a budget for the year ahead.

Not Quite As You Hoped?

One of the many adult things we all have to grapple with is that life can be quiet disappointing, at times it is far from what we hoped for. As 2019 ended, perhaps you, like me, took stock of the year or decade and weren’t quite as content with the result as you had hoped. Contentment – that’s a challenge isn’t it… Yet as adults, hope is often what we are left to cling to, whilst taking the necessary actions to control the few things that we can actually control.

New Year, New Decade, Go Again…

Its January 2020. Another decade has closed and a new one opened. Will we take the necessary steps to ensure that this one is better than the last? One that we make decisions for our own good and hopefully for the good of others too. Will we grapple with some of those rather awkward behaviours and beliefs that have sometimes thwarted our progress towards better?

Most people I know no longer make new year resolutions, at this point in life they are largely aware of their own tendencies and see little point in pretending that this time it will be different. That’s not to say that changes are not attempted, simply not set by a calendar.

Dear Evan Hansen

Dear Evan Hansen

On Friday I saw the musical “Dear Evan Hansen”. It’s a new musical with an American genre of singing, the name of which I have yet to learn. Sliding notes, somewhere between singing and speaking at times. It’s difficult to sing and perfect for the cracking voiced teenagers that are the protagonists.

For those of you that have had or have teenagers, some of the story may feel familiar. Perhaps some will resonate with the sense of needing a map to navigate the changing relationship. The awkward non-conversations around the family dining table.

Sometimes life sucks. Despair is very real. Our children and peers (and we too) are inundated with images of the “perfect life” that is right in front of our noses. Envy never had a better incubator; the gap is both closer and ever further away. The sense of futility that some feel is palpable. Little wonder many feel powerless and disillusioned. When it’s our own children, we don’t so much need a map as to read the signs, as uncomfortable as they may be.

Of course, this happens to other people doesn’t it…. Never around our own dining tables… how about when we hear stories about fantastic investment portfolios, holidays, model students and everyone living their dreams? I’m not “having a go” or trying to make anyone feel uncomfortable, simply making the point that all of us confront embellished, edited versions of others, which can make us feel insecure.

You Are Not Alone

Most of us have resources and support structures to help us through dark days. Many do not. This exaggerates the sense of aloneness and sadly for 6,509 people in the UK in 2018 the sense of despair was too great, resulting in suicide. It seems that men aged between 45-49 are the most likely to take their own lives. Thankfully a small proportion of the 541,589 deaths in England and Wales. However, what is surprising is that suicide is the leading reason for death for males and females from ages 5-34.

On social media I often see teenagers being criticised and twenty-somethings described as snowflakes. I hope that most of this is simply thoughtless, which would aptly describe most of the content. However, if we dismiss voices of despair with terms like “buck up” or “pull yourself together” we miss what is going on, perhaps to our great cost.

We seem comfortable with the idea that small children are sponges, soaking up and regurgitating all that they see, hear and experience. Yet we seem unwilling to acknowledge that teenagers are another reflection, perhaps lacking the right words, but manifesting clear signs that something isn’t right.

We may wish to dismiss adolescence as hypersensitive, exaggerated emotions caused by the swirling mass of hormones in a state of change. There’s a partial truth, but the sense of being alone and without any apparent hope also reveals the state of our own communities.

Your Messenger Account

If we model “success” as having, owning and gaining, for those that don’t the disconnection can be a lethal combination. So perhaps when a well-meaning friend recounts tales of how wonderfully their portfolio has performed and it leaves you feeling uneasy, remember your goals are not theirs, a different purpose is at play, one based on your values.

My goal is to help clients think about the life they want, not simply the satisfactory version of a holiday brochure. What are you passionate about? What makes you tick? What is uniquely you? Where is your voice? And what do you have to say? How can I help build the financial architecture around you to make that a reality? Can we find that together?

Here’s the promotional video for Dear Evan Hansen. You can also find out about the show and order tickets using this link.

Dominic Thomas
Solomons IFA

You can read more articles about Pensions, Wealth Management, Retirement, Investments, Financial Planning and Estate Planning on my blog which gets updated every week. If you would like to talk to me about your personal wealth planning and how we can make you stay wealthier for longer then please get in touch by calling 08000 736 273 or email info@solomonsifa.co.uk

GET IN TOUCH

Solomon’s Independent Financial Advisers
The Old Bakery, 2D Edna Road, Raynes Park, London, SW20 8BT

Email – info@solomonsifa.co.uk 
Call – 020 8542 8084

WHAT WE’RE ALL ABOUT

If you would like a no-nonsense one page document explaining what financial planning is all about please enter your email here.

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GET IN TOUCH

Solomon’s Independent Financial Advisers
The Old Bakery, 2D Edna Road, Raynes Park, London, SW20 8BT

Email – info@solomonsifa.co.uk    Call – 020 8542 8084

WHAT WE’RE ALL ABOUT

If you would like a no-nonsense one page document explaining what financial planning is all about please enter your email here.

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FEELING OVERWHELMED?2020-01-20T11:29:33+00:00

JUDY – A STAR IS BORN

TODAY’S BLOG

JUDY – A STAR IS BORN

The new film “Judy” about the last year of Judy Garland’s life is now on general release. Renee Zellweger gives an impressive performance or perhaps impression of the troubled Garland.

50 Years – 1969 Tempus Fugit

Judy Garland died on 22 June 1969, just a few days before the moon landing. She died of an overdose of barbiturates, at a rented property in Chelsea. The overdose was probably a culmination of a lifetime of pill-popping, established by the shameless manipulators of a young girl. The irony that even then “we” could land on the moon but fail so spectacularly to address mental health problems is bad enough, yet today, whilst mental health and well-being are on the list of hot topics, the progress is painfully slow.

The Yellow Brick Road

The movie depicts a woman that struggles, we are left thinking “little wonder” not because of her talent, but due to the constant pressure she faced from childhood to perform. Bullied and harassed by her studio, the yellow brick road was certainly long and hard. When I learn about stories like these, which are all too familiar and present, there is a deep sense that those people around the individual concerned continually fail to protect and care. It seems to me that they are little more than parasites, there is no oversight of value, simply extraction.

Judy Garland - A Star Is Born Movie Poster 1954

There’s No Place Like Home..

Garland died with huge debts for 1969, she was basically swindled by her managers Fields and Begelman, was forced to sell her home and lived from hotel to hotel, reflecting her succession of husbands, all 5 of them. None appeared to offer any solace. “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home” a line a young Garland echoes across time as Dorothy from Kansas. A story I suspect we all know well. She died homeless, with an estate of just $40,000 that couldn’t meet the charitable bequests she made in her Will.

Wicked

It baffles me that advisers (of all types) deliberately rip off their clients. There are regularly stories of actors, musicians or sports stars who are often very successful in their field, but not good with money. My main professional function is to help clients to keep more of their money, to avoid financial investing mistakes, scams and waste. Getting this right provides the base for some decent planning, using money wisely. Every time I see these stories, I wonder why they didn’t have a decent adviser, why they didn’t ask me? (of course, being a minnow, how would they?).

Placed on the stage as a toddler, she rarely found attention of value outside the spotlight. The film may take some liberties, (I hope) with her treatment in London, which she had described with deep fondness previously, particularly after her 1951 tour of the UK. One scene at the Talk of the Town Club shows an embarrassingly disrespectful crowd. I hope that this is artistic license (a similar incident did happen in Melbourne, Australia in 1964).

Babes on Broadway (1941)

It takes something to have been married 5 times by the age of 46, that something is clearly a damaged psyche desperately looking for the right attachments. Her trouble with men almost certainly began way before David Rose (30 at the time) proposed to her on her 18th birthday whilst still married himself. They married a little over a year later under Studio advice. There then followed a constant supply of unsuitable men.

Thousands Cheer (1943)

The film implies that perhaps the blame for her lot is rather wider than simply the men in her life. The studios promoted the “girl next door” image and the studios made her continue to play roles that she was too old for. Their argument being that the public loved her as a “kid”. The studios were responsible for her health and wellbeing, but merely encouraged eating disorders, addictions, suicide attempts and a deep sense of inadequacy. How complicit audiences and fans are in the rise and fall of stars remains a question that we return to regularly.

Perhaps what we can take from this tale, is that, sadly, good advice is much rarer than bad advice. There are many that are willing to part you from your money and cause your ruin. Don’t be fooled, seek out good advisers that offer the invaluable, connecting you and your money with your values. Judy Garland was failed. Spectacularly.

As a movie, this is a good one. Here’s the trailer.

Dominic Thomas
Solomons IFA

You can read more articles about Pensions, Wealth Management, Retirement, Investments, Financial Planning and Estate Planning on my blog which gets updated every week. If you would like to talk to me about your personal wealth planning and how we can make you stay wealthier for longer then please get in touch by calling 08000 736 273 or email info@solomonsifa.co.uk

GET IN TOUCH

Solomon’s Independent Financial Advisers
The Old Bakery, 2D Edna Road, Raynes Park, London, SW20 8BT

Email – info@solomonsifa.co.uk 
Call – 020 8542 8084

WHAT WE’RE ALL ABOUT

If you would like a no-nonsense one page document explaining what financial planning is all about please enter your email here.

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GET IN TOUCH

Solomon’s Independent Financial Advisers
The Old Bakery, 2D Edna Road, Raynes Park, London, SW20 8BT

Email – info@solomonsifa.co.uk    Call – 020 8542 8084

WHAT WE’RE ALL ABOUT

If you would like a no-nonsense one page document explaining what financial planning is all about please enter your email here.

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JUDY – A STAR IS BORN2019-10-03T13:18:42+01:00
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