Are you falling in love with a scammer?

Jemima Thomas
June 2024 • 3 min read

Romance scams – preying on the kind hearted

I apologise if I’m becoming the bi-monthly agony Aunt in reminding you about the importance of financial trust in romantic relationships; but being able to trust your partner in any relationship is imperative. It’s also important to remind those of you who are single, divorced or widowed that it is vital that you’re not taken advantage of when establishing a new relationship.

We know that you, our clients, trust our advice and expertise, which is why we’d like to think that if any significant financial decisions needed to be made – you’d get in touch with us.

Unfortunately, preying on the kind-hearted isn’t at all unusual in the landscape of financial scams and fraud. We hope that all our clients would call us if you were getting a ‘gut feeling’ when something doesn’t seem or ‘feel’ quite right. We are here to reassure you on things and to flag up anything out of the ordinary to prevent you coming to any ‘financial harm’.

Lloyds Bank research shows that the number of people falling for so-called ‘romance scams’ rose by over 22% in 2023 (on the previous year). The statistics revealed that men and women aged 55-64 were the most likely group to be tricked by “fraudsters masquerading as love interests”. However, it is 65-74 year olds who lose the most money in these scams, giving away an average of over £13,000.

The fraud prevention director at Lloyds Bank, Liz Ziegler, weighs in:

“Targeting those looking for love is a cruel, but sadly common, way for fraudsters to cash in. Scammers can be incredibly convincing and leave their victims both emotionally and financially drained’’.

I appreciate that this is a delicate topic; some people loathe to talk about such personal circumstances with their financial adviser, but your relationships intertwine with your finances and we are very honoured that our clients are willing to share these details with us. Rest assured – like a close friend or a doctor – your stories and questions will always be confidential and received without judgement.

On the same note, I would like to remind all of you about the importance of both parties (if in a couple) attending initial or annual review meetings with either Dominic or Daniel. It is crucial that nothing is ‘lost in translation’, and this way we can ensure that we keep everyone as included as possible. For us, it is all about transparency and clarity for each and every one of you.

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Are you falling in love with a scammer?Jemima Thomas2024-10-17T13:43:12+01:00

Financial transparency

Jemima Thomas
Jan 2024 • 2 min read

Do you know who you’re sleeping with?

I spotted a BBC news article about a man who had a gambling addiction and ended up slowly stealing £1.3 million from his work place, to continue his betting addiction.

Initially Andy May (now 47 with a wife and two kids) was just a weekend gambler; at the beginning spending as little as £5 – £20 ‘for fun’. As his gambling activity continued, he began winning more money to play with (and more ability to borrow); and so the amount he would bet began to increase. Unfortunately, it got to a point where Andy had been stealing from his employer for a period of four and a half years. (For context do read the article fully – he used to be the finance manager for his employer).

Andy ended up in prison rather unsurprisingly, but the most intriguing part of the story is how his ‘problem’ went on for so long without being spotted (both in his professional and personal life).

It’s important for couples (and business partners) to have financial transparency. The habits and addictions of another can seriously damage your relationships and wealth, and it’s why we insist on clarity about your spending habits. It’s also why (if you are in a couple) we encourage both of you to attend meetings together.

Historically (although definitely not always), men tend to take the reins on financial decisions; but we work hard here at Solomon’s to ensure that all decisions that impact both of you are made collaboratively. We aren’t marriage counsellors, but we sometimes pose uncomfortable questions – we hope that we are a ‘safe space’ for people to bandy their ideas around (including concerns and fears). These questions aren’t ever meant to ‘trip you up’ – they are intended to challenge you and make you think carefully about what is important to you in your life. It’s not an easy part of our role as your financial planner; but it’s an important one.

Read the full article here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-67503468

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Financial transparencyJemima Thomas2024-02-01T09:21:20+00:00

Animal Kingdom

Solomons-financial-advisor-wimbledon-blogger

Animal Kingdom

I wonder if you saw a video clip of a family at Beekse Bergen Safari Park, who for some strange reason left their car to look around. Another park visitor caught their lucky and close escape from a pack of cheetahs. Whilst the video isn’t that clear, other than the obvious “what possessed them?” I was aware of that the mother clutching one of her children was the last to reach safety, somewhat deserted by her husband. It reminded me of a 2015 film “Force Majeure” in which the male parent absconds from his duty.

At this time of year, we see various creatures nurturing their young, well… at least if you manage to get outside amongst any green spaces… whilst I realise that the nurturing instinct is not exclusively female and not all females experience it, it is perhaps generally true. The instinct to protect is “natural” to many.

Delegating Poorly…

Over the years I have met hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people to discuss their financial planning. There are many common themes, but the one that is common amongst couples is where the wife leaves most of the “money stuff” to the husband to sort out. There’s nothing terribly wrong with this, if he does…

Often, men live and behave as though they are indestructible. Perhaps you live with one that doesn’t tend to make too many trips to the doctor, dentist or whatever… Whatever their reasons, many do not take the prospect of illness or death terribly seriously until they are much older. They often rely on benefits provided by employers – the death-in-service cover and so on. Yet any employer benefits will cease, should the employment end. Frankly I would only ever view them as a bonus rather than the solution.

Whether you have children or not, in the event of a serious or long-term illness or perhaps even death, there is almost certainly a financial consequence. It is too late to address this gaping hole once you find yourself in such a scenario. I would urge you not to rely on employer benefits, I have seen the folly of this. I would also encourage every couple to ensure that they have ample financial protection, don’t leave it to one partner to “sort it out” ultimately you may be living with the consequences of poor delegation, I have chosen my words deliberately.

It’s not just couples

Single people also need to reflect on their financial security if they could not earn a living. I know this is morose, somewhat awkward to think about, but I have seen too many people needlessly struggle because they didn’t set up a suitable amount of cover.

Whilst the couple in the safari park may have somehow found a reason to get out of their car, the bubble of a relationship is of no help when the real-world breaks through, which it will, it always does…

Ready for the video from CNN

Dominic Thomas
Solomons IFA

You can read more articles about Pensions, Wealth Management, Retirement, Investments, Financial Planning and Estate Planning on my blog which gets updated every week. If you would like to talk to me about your personal wealth planning and how we can make you stay wealthier for longer then please get in touch by calling 08000 736 273 or email info@solomonsifa.co.uk

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Animal KingdomDominic2023-12-01T12:18:10+00:00

Are you living in La La Land?

So the BFI London Film Festival is here again – celebrating its 60th yet retaining a considerable fresh approach to film which this year even includes a very good temporary cinema in Embankment Gardens… thankfully it is an indoor cinema!

La La Land is the latest film from Damien Chazelle (who Directed “Whiplash”) it’s a charming love letter to Hollywood. With all the ranting and sheer stupidity displayed in American politics (we aren’t much better) it is worth remembering what the US does best – storytelling and entertainment. Of course there are many, many things that are done incredibly well in the US, but these, to my mind stand out.

Dreams and Tension

This latest film is a musical about how difficult it can be to hold onto your dreams, particularly when so many others appear to share the same dream and perhaps have an advantage or two. Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling have a fantastic chemistry and remind us that despite appearing similar, timing is everything and holding the tension of a relationship and a single-minded focus on your dream can be a lonely and exclusive experience (as also explored in Whiplash).

Lifestyles and styled lives

In years gone by, financial advisers were much more obviously” selling dreams”, in fact I might suggest that many were simply selling fantasies. Providing descriptions of a future version of you – helping you to imagine yourself in that yacht, with that house, driving that car… essentially marketing a lifestyle to you to consume. Today things have changed. Today a financial planner is not there to prescribe, but to help digest, encourage and help verbalise what it is that you truly want so that a plan can be crafted to help you achieve it. Sometimes significant behaviours need to change in order to have the future that you want, but in truth this is fairly rare. However, it is worth pointing out that getting a couple to think about their future does on occasion mean reflecting on whether they want one together.

Baggage that matches…

The truth can be rather difficult to swallow, sometimes uncovering aspects of a relationship that are difficult (how we handle money, why and what for). It should be obvious that a financial planner, is not a marriage counsellor, yet on occasion the conversation can lead in a direction for which a financial planner has no training at all, merely life experience. How a couple talk about money, but more importantly their goals for the future is not always easy to manage. We all bring the baggage of our experiences, values and expectations, some will be helpful, but some will not. How your own parents handled money is often just below the surface, there can often be an echo of the past in the present relationship and this can form a significant element of “how things are done” today. Let us not forget that Relate cite finances as one of the most stress-inducing aspects of a relationship, so many will simply ignore the problem hoping it will eventually go away…

And all that Jazz…

As in the movie, (which is a real homage to Hollywood musicals, the place and jazz) whilst there is a very valuable element of recognising and preserving the originals, those were ground-breaking and new, so to simply maintain is to fail to understand a key dynamic. We all need to forge our own path, which may be informed by the past but not governed by it. The difficulty is figuring out the path you want to take and whether it is one you both want… which brings its natural challenges and given voice in the romantic melancholic song “City of Stars” which you may be whistling or humming to yourself by the end.

So, having a clear and shared focus about your future is, well… vital for your financial plan to be successful. The struggle will be to confront some truths about how in-sync you are and what you’d like to do to restore your rhythm. I won’t pretend that this is easy, but the secret to any great performance is the ability to rise from the knocks, learning, practising until it appears to be easy, but “effortless” it never is…. that’s for those that really are living in “la la land”.

Your challenge is to pick up the phone or send me an email to book a time to have the honest conversation about what you really want your future to look like. No matter how polished the final result, there is plenty of work ahead. I didn’t say that honesy is always easy to deliver or to hear.

Here’s the trailer for the new film .

Dominic Thomas
Solomons IFA

Are you living in La La Land?Dominic2023-12-01T12:19:05+00:00

Divorce

Understandably, divorce is a sensitive topic. Yet it is a reality for many people. The subject of divorce rates is open to interpretation. Some will see this as failed relationships, others will see it as ending misery, of course each has its own context and trauma (or not).

Statistics are interesting, but as I have said on countless occasions, they are merely data that can be manipulated to assist argument. So with that in mind, the ONS (Office for National Statistics…. yes it does sound rather like something from 1984) released data this week revealing that divorce rates fell 2.9% in 2013, when compared with 2012. Factually, 2013 saw 114,720 couples in England and Wales granted a legal divorce. The bulk of which were people aged 40-49, however notably it would appear that more younger women divorce than men.

Anecdotal experience would tend to suggest that generally wives are a bit younger than their husbands… emphasis on generally. In addition divorce rates at older ages are likely to be lower due to the fact that marriages also end when people die and there are very few divorces amongst those under 25. So there’s a degree to which one might ask… isn’t this simply stating the obvious? One might also suggest that fewer marriages take place, so it follows that fewer divorces do.

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Chance of divorce

I’m being a little inaccurate with interpretation here, rather than the chance of divorce, a better and more accurate statement would be the percentage of marriages that end in divorce. According to the ONS, the percentage of marriages ending in divorce has generally increased for those marrying between the late 1960s and the late 1990s. For those married in 1968 20% had divorced within 15 years. Thirty years later, of those married in 1998 32% were divorced before a 15th anniversary. The current median duration of a marriage that ends in divorce was 11.7 years in 2013.

The ONS note that compared to data from 2005 the percentage of marriages that end in divorce reduced from 45% to 42%…. so a minor reduction. They suggest a couple of possible factors for this.

1. The age at first marriage has been increasing, data suggests those that marry at older ages tend to have a lower risk of divorce.

2. Cohabitation has increased, which acts as a filter for those contemplating marriage, so arguably fewer marriages then end divorce.

OK, so this is all well and good, but so what? Well…. the uncomfortable truth is that something like 4/10 marriages end in divorce. So it would seem logical to reflect on this when it comes to your financial planning, by ensuring that both parties in a couple are engaged in financial decisions, both are building and protecting wealth. I have only ever seen one painless divorce (which in reality I do not know much about) most are very painful. Your financial planning can be arranged to reduce such pain, should it occur.

To generalise again, women under the age of 35 are far more likely to divorce than men. Men over the age of 50 are more likely to divorce than women.

Christmas Stress

If you are experiencing a divorce or think you may be about to. Christmas and summer holidays are the time when most people decide to divorce. Understanding your finances, what you have and what you need is vital and I am constantly surprised at how few divorce lawyers every suggest some proper cashflow modelling to reveal what is possible.

Divorce or relationship struggles often make good drama. Here is the trailer for the film “The Story of Us” starring Michelle Pfeiffer and Bruce Willis.

and for some dvd’s on the theme…

Dominic Thomas
Solomons IFA

DivorceDominic2023-12-01T12:19:44+00:00