Relationships and Money

Relationships and Money

Money is a constant source of artistic material largely because of the power that it has over us. History has been formed on the basis of taking, defending but rarely creating. Empires, Kings and Queens, Dictators all thrive and feed off the power that money provides. Our society is built upon the need for money and progress within it is invariably reliant upon it.

It is fairly difficult to escape the value system that money provides. Our legal system is founded upon protecting property, not necessarily people. Ownership and its legal entitlement are the basis for building wealth. A walk around London, or most British cities, at this time of year exposes an alarming number of homeless, rough sleepers. Yet we live in one of the world’s richest societies

Awareness of Lack

We all struggle to find our own sense of balance and place in society.  Some are better at achieving this than most, becoming gurus to finding peace of mind or a state of contentment. No easy feat in a world in which we are bombarded by messages designed to make us feel anxious. We anaesthetize ourselves with a new purchase, providing temporary relief to make us feel better. We walk the tightrope of an awareness of lack and soothing this with a pursuit of more, however small or insignificant. There are few better examples of this internal war than within my own field of financial services.

Acts of Loving

Any relationship with another person, particularly one which involves the formation of a marital partnership, will experience the pressure and exposure of differing views about money and how it is handled, or indeed what it represents. For some, money represents love. So it follows that spending and extravagance are merely demonstrations of that love.  For others, it represents security and provision, so acquiring more (spending less) demonstrates love. No religion is immune from money, some selecting an approach of more is a blessing and less is a punishment. Others that less (or none) and reliance upon deity for the next meal and a place to rest a weary head each night is true spirituality. In short there is a very varied spectrum of values that in turn form the basis of our beliefs and actions when it comes to how money is handled and thought about.

Peace of Mind

So it is little wonder that most of us struggle with our relationship money.   We are aware that there are enormous differences, culturally, socially, economically, politically, financially and spiritually. Our personal values are shaped by our upbringing and the context of our place in history. So when I talk in (what can seem bland) terms about “peace of mind” I am of course meaning a sense of balance. A balance between what you have disclosed to be your values and how this inter-relates with ongoing actions that you take within a financial context.  Actions that you have taken to demonstrate love and care, for yourself, others and wider society. Dare I suggest that a financial plan might be an act of love itself?


Dominic Thomas
Solomons IFA

You can read more articles about Pensions, Wealth Management, Retirement, Investments, Financial Planning and Estate Planning on my blog which gets updated every week. If you would like to talk to me about your personal wealth planning and how we can make you stay wealthier for longer then please get in touch by calling 08000 736 273 or email

Relationships and Money2023-12-01T12:18:41+00:00

Everyone Can Achieve Financial Independence

You can be financially independent

I can pretty much guarantee that I can ensure that anyone can achieve financial independence. This is what the financial services industry, the Government and media all suggest is the main objective of financial planning. What they don’t tell you is how easy it is obtain this. If you live in Britain, I can pretty much guarantee your financial “freedom”.

Achieving financial independence is easy

Here is how. Sell everything you have and move to a warmer climate, in a country with a similar population size to the UK – The Democratic Republic of the Congo, the poorest country in the world based on per capita GDP. There you can buy a house, (or probably an entire town). You will almost certainly have enough money to live there, not that life is easy for the majority of the people there, but coming from Britain, you will achieve financial security. I cannot guarantee your personal security or indeed an anxiety free life, but that merely underlines my point.

 The financial services industry talking about the wrong stuff

Of course, I’m being somewhat silly, but you appreciate the idea that financial independence is not really what great financial planning is about. I would argue that great financial planning is all about your lifestyle. How you want to live your life and the choices that you make is really what financial planning is about. The only person to set the objective for your lifestyle is you. As a financial planner my job is to help you to verbalise and clarify what lifestyle you want. It is not to judge your choices, after all these will be born from your values. My job is to assess if can afford to maintain your lifestyle for as long as you want it or if you are going to be forced to alter your lifestyle.  Most financial advisers act as though what you really need is the best pension or the most fantastic investment. Sorry, but this is completely missing the point, financial products and investment strategies are nothing more than instruments to get you where you need to go, but unless you have been properly asked “to where ?” how can you have confidence in YOUR financial PLAN? So isn’t it about time that you were asked the right questions? Great financial planning is about YOU.

Everyone Can Achieve Financial Independence2023-12-01T12:22:59+00:00
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