Relationships and Money

Money is a constant source of artistic material largely because of the power that it has over us. History has been formed on the basis of taking, defending but rarely creating. Empires, Kings and Queens, Dictators all thrive and feed off the power that money provides. Our society is built upon the need for money and progress within it is invariably reliant upon it.

It is fairly difficult to escape the value system that money provides. Our legal system is founded upon protecting property, not necessarily people. Ownership and its legal entitlement are the basis for building wealth. A walk around London, or most British cities, at this time of year exposes an alarming number of homeless, rough sleepers. Yet we live in one of the world’s richest societies

Awareness of Lack

We all struggle to find our own sense of balance and place in society.  Some are better at achieving this than most, becoming gurus to finding peace of mind or a state of contentment. No easy feat in a world in which we are bombarded by messages designed to make us feel anxious. We anaesthetize ourselves with a new purchase, providing temporary relief to make us feel better. We walk the tightrope of an awareness of lack and soothing this with a pursuit of more, however small or insignificant. There are few better examples of this internal war than within my own field of financial services.

Acts of Loving

Any relationship with another person, particularly one which involves the formation of a marital partnership, will experience the pressure and exposure of differing views about money and how it is handled, or indeed what it represents. For some, money represents love. So it follows that spending and extravagance are merely demonstrations of that love.  For others, it represents security and provision, so acquiring more (spending less) demonstrates love. No religion is immune from money, some selecting an approach of more is a blessing and less is a punishment. Others that less (or none) and reliance upon deity for the next meal and a place to rest a weary head each night is true spirituality. In short there is a very varied spectrum of values that in turn form the basis of our beliefs and actions when it comes to how money is handled and thought about.

Peace of Mind

So it is little wonder that most of us struggle with our relationship money.   We are aware that there are enormous differences, culturally, socially, economically, politically, financially and spiritually. Our personal values are shaped by our upbringing and the context of our place in history. So when I talk in (what can seem bland) terms about “peace of mind” I am of course meaning a sense of balance. A balance between what you have disclosed to be your values and how this inter-relates with ongoing actions that you take within a financial context.  Actions that you have taken to demonstrate love and care, for yourself, others and wider society. Dare I suggest that a financial plan might be an act of love itself?


Dominic Thomas
Solomons IFA

You can read more articles about Pensions, Wealth Management, Retirement, Investments, Financial Planning and Estate Planning on my blog which gets updated every week. If you would like to talk to me about your personal wealth planning and how we can make you stay wealthier for longer then please get in touch by calling 08000 736 273 or email