The crisis of living

Dominic Thomas
Dec 2024  •  3 min read

The crisis of living

Sometimes life throws something in your way that forces you to stop to think about its direction. We all tend to have landmark moments and of course the context, timing, and nature of them vary enormously. However, they all tend to pose a version of the same question … “so what now?”

One of the underrated skills of a good financial planner is to consider the things that we don’t want to think about. It would be normal for most to assume that this is the impact of a major economic crisis, financial meltdown, or some disaster to your portfolio. Whilst these things do happen, (regularly!) there is a degree of predictability about them, barring the final moment of global collapse, should that ever happen. These events (barring the apocalypse) are ‘baked in’ to your financial plan, making allowances for market corrections and reductions in capital values.

The real-life challenges are those we witness personally, perhaps experience vicariously or through the arts. These are the crises that we all probably wish away and hope that it doesn’t happen to us. Perhaps a marriage ending, a child dies, an addiction, a business bankruptcy, redundancy, a life-threatening illness, death, loss of loved ones or loss of personal mental capacity and independence.

These are no small matters, and I wouldn’t presume to pretend that financial planning removes the stress of such situations. However, raising such issues enables us to do some planning, but sometimes helps simply to acknowledge the reality that we cannot control very much in life at all. I will also not claim any special skills or talent in this area, it’s a minefield of values, beliefs and emotions. However, experience has taught me to face these challenges personally and with clients. I have improved my ability to ask the pertinent questions over the decades, but of course responses differ and there are no ‘right answers’.

Coming to terms with loss… 

I was asked to speak at a funeral of a friend who died much too young. One of the things I believe is that life is about coming to terms with loss. The majority of the gathered crowd simply stared back at me, looking incredulous. So perhaps I should’ve explained my position rather better. Life is precious, it’s a gift, it’s a miracle that any of us are here. It is also incredibly brief and once you have got over your own infant state of omnipotence (which for most of us happens in early childhood) you realise that everything you have and hold dear will eventually leave you. Whether that’s friends, brain cells, careers, skills, loved ones, money, energy, mind, health and so on… your va-va-voom eventually. Coming to terms with this isn’t always easy, in fact I’d say it’s a lifetime education. However, it will come to us all.

How do you measure a year? Seasons of Love – 525,600 minutes

One of my favourite musicals is Rent by the marvellous Jonathan Larson (who died the night before its premier – imagine that!). He begs the question “how do you measure a year?”. Of course we value your portfolio and consider its returns against markets; this is obviously sensible in the context in which we operate, but frankly, these are not measures of your life. I’m probably two thirds of the way through my lifetime, maybe it will be longer or shorter, but however much time I have left, I am grateful for each day (I’m practicing at getting better at this) and believe that it is my responsibility to get (and give) the most out of it. To experience connection and make meaning, which will almost certainly be forgotten within 100 years or less.

The assumption that tomorrow will be like today is deeply flawed. Carpe diem and all that. I’m not suggesting that we should live in a state of euphoric life maximisation (even if it is possible to do so); but certainly to consider the reality of loss as a built-in design of life. Pretending it isn’t so seems incredibly naive (at best). When such unwelcome challenges arrive at your door, plans have to change, sometimes dramatically.

I know that many of you have had these experiences and at times life is very hard. I cannot promise easy fixes, soft landings or neat solutions; I can simply promise that my team and I are empathetic and very much in your corner.

Your timeline is your own, we will help you to identify many of the key milestones that lie ahead and help plan for them. It is my belief that your financial plan should be rammed full of the things, people and experiences that you truly value.

Links: Rent the musical: https://broadwaymusicalhome.com/shows/rent.htm#gsc.tab=0

Seasons of Love song: https://youtu.be/PgBjMZ4IeKY?si=h0TgWf_BNxc-TfCU

Seasons of Love Lyrics: https://genius.com/Original-broadway-cast-of-rent-seasons-of-love-lyrics