Divorce

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Divorce

Understandably, divorce is a sensitive topic. Yet it is a reality for many people. The subject of divorce rates is open to interpretation. Some will see this as failed relationships, others will see it as ending misery, of course each has its own context and trauma (or not).

Statistics are interesting, but as I have said on countless occasions, they are merely data that can be manipulated to assist argument. So with that in mind, the ONS (Office for National Statistics…. yes it does sound rather like something from 1984) released data this week revealing that divorce rates fell 2.9% in 2013, when compared with 2012. Factually, 2013 saw 114,720 couples in England and Wales granted a legal divorce. The bulk of which were people aged 40-49, however notably it would appear that more younger women divorce than men.

Anecdotal experience would tend to suggest that generally wives are a bit younger than their husbands… emphasis on generally. In addition divorce rates at older ages are likely to be lower due to the fact that marriages also end when people die and there are very few divorces amongst those under 25. So there’s a degree to which one might ask… isn’t this simply stating the obvious? One might also suggest that fewer marriages take place, so it follows that fewer divorces do.

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Chance of divorce

I’m being a little inaccurate with interpretation here, rather than the chance of divorce, a better and more accurate statement would be the percentage of marriages that end in divorce. According to the ONS, the percentage of marriages ending in divorce has generally increased for those marrying between the late 1960s and the late 1990s. For those married in 1968 20% had divorced within 15 years. Thirty years later, of those married in 1998 32% were divorced before a 15th anniversary. The current median duration of a marriage that ends in divorce was 11.7 years in 2013.

The ONS note that compared to data from 2005 the percentage of marriages that end in divorce reduced from 45% to 42%…. so a minor reduction. They suggest a couple of possible factors for this.

1. The age at first marriage has been increasing, data suggests those that marry at older ages tend to have a lower risk of divorce.

2. Cohabitation has increased, which acts as a filter for those contemplating marriage, so arguably fewer marriages then end divorce.

OK, so this is all well and good, but so what? Well…. the uncomfortable truth is that something like 4/10 marriages end in divorce. So it would seem logical to reflect on this when it comes to your financial planning, by ensuring that both parties in a couple are engaged in financial decisions, both are building and protecting wealth. I have only ever seen one painless divorce (which in reality I do not know much about) most are very painful. Your financial planning can be arranged to reduce such pain, should it occur.

To generalise again, women under the age of 35 are far more likely to divorce than men. Men over the age of 50 are more likely to divorce than women.

Christmas Stress

If you are experiencing a divorce or think you may be about to. Christmas and summer holidays are the time when most people decide to divorce. Understanding your finances, what you have and what you need is vital and I am constantly surprised at how few divorce lawyers every suggest some proper cashflow modelling to reveal what is possible.

Divorce or relationship struggles often make good drama. Here is the trailer for the film “The Story of Us” starring Michelle Pfeiffer and Bruce Willis.

and for some dvd’s on the theme…

Dominic Thomas
Solomons IFA

You can read more articles about Pensions, Wealth Management, Retirement, Investments, Financial Planning and Estate Planning on my blog which gets updated every week. If you would like to talk to me about your personal wealth planning and how we can make you stay wealthier for longer then please get in touch by calling 08000 736 273 or email info@solomonsifa.co.uk

DivorceDominic2023-12-01T12:19:44+00:00

Remembering Childhood

Remembering childhood

Last night I went with friends to the National Trust site of Box Hill, in Surrey, to see an open air showing of “Finding Neverland”. Its a story of how “Peter Pan” came to be written by JM Barrie. The accuracy of the story is subject to the usual artistic licenses and too much attention to detail may rather miss the point of the story.

In essence, this is a tale of recapturing childhood. Barrie, (played by Johnny Depp) was struggling to write a commercially successful play and happens upon the Llewelyn-Davies family, who become the inspiration for the story. The story itself (in the film rather than reality) is born out of struggle – Barrie’s own marriage is far from happy, the Llewelyn-Davies family have suffered the loss of a father and Barrie himself needed a successful play for his theatrical producer Charles Frohman.

Barrie is inspired by the imagination of the Llewelyn-Davies boys and becomes a significant figure in their lives. In meeting with them, he is both a willing participant and ring-leader in their play, recalling something of his own childhood and confronting the reality of what has been lost in the transition to adulthood, in so doing, his behaviour is frowned upon by the socialites of the day, including his wife who eventually divorces him for a man more present.

Childhood is precious and brief, but so too is life – coming to terms with loss and grief is experienced differently by all, yet all undergo this very adult experience. This is poignantly reflected in the movie with the mother, Sylvia, played by Kate Winslet, who also dies fairly suddenly from cancer and whose friendship with Barrie has been something of a talking point much to the chagrin of Mary Barrie and Emma du Maurier.

Worse than fiction?

Despite being a moving tale of loss, where the only relief seems to be found in friendship and escape into imagination, the real story is even more painful. It transpires that lives of the four brothers all met with significant sadness.

In reality the boys’ father barrister Arthur Llewelyn-Davies died in 1907, age 44, some three years after the play was first performed. JM Barrie divorced his wife in 1909. Sylvia died in 1910 aged 43. Barrie didn’t publish Peter Pan as a book until 1911 having made numerous revisions of the play.

The second eldest Jack, actually left home shortly before his mother died in 1910 to join the Navy. George, the eldest, was killed in Flanders in 1915 at the age of 21, the second youngest Michael aged 20 drowned in suspicious circumstances (thought to be suicide) in 1921.

Peter grew up apparently very unhappy about the constant references of him with Peter Pan, eventually falling out with Barrie over a relationship that Peter had with illustrator Vera Willoughby whilst Peter was 20 and still serving in the military, the argument is presumed to have been that Vera was 20 years older and married. Peter went on to form his own publishing company, which the film suggests as a nod to the influence of Barrie and his late mother, his company published work by his cousin Daphne du Maurier. When Barrie died age 77 in 1937, his estate passed largely to his secretary, the royalties of Peter Pan were gifted to Great Ormond Street.

Jack died when he was 65 in 1959, Peter committed suicide just 7 months later, age 63. It was discovered that he had been working on a piece about his family entitled “Morgue” and had reached the point where he was confronted by the prospect that his youngest brother may have committed suicide. Peter was married with three children. The youngest brother, Nicholas died in 1980 and doesn’t feature in the film as this would have revealed the problematic chronology within the movie, havng been born in 1903.

And the financial planning lesson?

For some of us childhood was an experience lacking responsibility. At times, when life can feel overwhelming it is tempting to recall such childhood freedoms. The path to adulthood is rarely an instant marvel, and in reality childhood contains all sorts of trauma and experience. Growing up can be hard, taking responsibility can be difficult.

Enjoy life whilst you have it, treasure your friendships and loved ones, don’t count on inheritances and ensure that your family (and/or friends) are adequately financially protected…. and remember that stories aren’t always factually accurate….even our own. Finally, your financial planning really shouldn’t be based on fiction, but it should contain a considerable amount of imagination.

Dominic Thomas
Solomons IFA

You can read more articles about Pensions, Wealth Management, Retirement, Investments, Financial Planning and Estate Planning on my blog which gets updated every week. If you would like to talk to me about your personal wealth planning and how we can make you stay wealthier for longer then please get in touch by calling 08000 736 273 or email info@solomonsifa.co.uk

Remembering ChildhoodDominic2023-12-01T12:19:56+00:00

A Matter of Life and Death

A matter of life and death

It is one of the strangest aspects of conversations that I have with clients. It gets stranger and perhaps more difficult the older they become. We have to talk about a matter of life and death.

In essence, when all is said and done, financial planning is about trying to ensure that your money does not run out before you die. So we need to have a conversation about when that might be. We don’t know the answer. Death is a daily part of life, yet something that most of us manage to avoid talking about.

The motivation behind the question is obviously to attempt to make money last long enough, however it is also designed to prompt thoughts about what is life about, what do you want from it during this brief sojourn on this wonderful planet?

Thoughts may turn too quickly to estate planning and reducing inheritance tax, rather than considering the true inheritance that is being left…. the memory and impact of .. well…you!

I might (will) point to the financial impact of your loss to those dependant upon you, be they family or your business, but we all know that its much bigger and deeper than that don’t we. So good financial planning can take care of financial loss, but great financial planning will hopefully remind and inspire you to ensure that you make the most of the life you have now.

Another way to view death – acceptance

A dear friend of mine, who has had more than her fair share of grief drew my attention to this short video about death (and life). It combines images from various films and words of Alan Watts. It is worth taking the 3 minutes to watch it.

Dominic Thomas
Solomons IFA

You can read more articles about Pensions, Wealth Management, Retirement, Investments, Financial Planning and Estate Planning on my blog which gets updated every week. If you would like to talk to me about your personal wealth planning and how we can make you stay wealthier for longer then please get in touch by calling 08000 736 273 or email info@solomonsifa.co.uk

A Matter of Life and DeathDominic2023-12-01T12:20:07+00:00

Estates: What do I do when someone close dies?

Like most people, this is something that I have experienced personally on several occassions. Everyone says that when someone dies, “its a difficult time” – it is, but having just read a link from a follower on Twitter, clearly there are some organisations that are actually making life coping with death even harder. I’m fully aware that this is a morbid topic, invariably one that is met with humour, but of course it is deeply personal, highly sensitive and one that we all have to address.

Most of us do not get to time to organise our final farewells, but some do, this is perhaps the one of the few positives from a mortal illness or disease. However that doesn’t lessen the pain or the very real experience that “money” isn’t top of the to-do list. In fact in my experience with clients, “money” is never at the top of any “to-do” list. As you may know I like to draw connections with movies, I can only say that the WH Auden poem read at the funeral in “Four Weddngs and a Funeral” captures something of grief that few movies achieve.

Order, comfort and relief

One of the elements of service that a good financial planner brings is a sense of order to finances. Personally I favour simplicity and as people get older they tend to want less nuance, preferring something that is very easy to monitor and manage. Having your financial details available for you and your potential beneficiaries readily available is a genuine relief. Clarity of what you have, where it is and who needs to be spoken to is hugely undervalued. Just pause for a moment and ask yourself if you would value this now? who knows where all your important “stuff” is? Is it difficult even for you to remember what you have?

Reviewing your Will and ensuring that the Executors know their responsibilities (and can be helped with them) undoubtedly makes grief much less burdened by the practicalities of “the aftermath”. Its odd that only yesterday I was on a training day about Trusts – which when used properly can really help with estate planning, but naturally requires quite a lot of forward planning, but whether you need a Trust or not, the questions posed about your own death and how your estate and affairs are to be managed are applicable to most people. Whenever someone dies their estate needs “settling” which means giving an accurate account to all connected parties, including HMRC and the dreaded Probate and inheritance tax forms.

May I suggest that you read this personal article by Victoria Bischoff, a journalist at the Daily Mail who writes movingly and succinctly about the problems that she and her family faced despite her mother’s highly organised affairs. The link is here. I have been through the process personally and am aware of how what should be simple, becomes unnecessarily difficult.

Dominic Thomas
Solomons IFA

You can read more articles about Pensions, Wealth Management, Retirement, Investments, Financial Planning and Estate Planning on my blog which gets updated every week. If you would like to talk to me about your personal wealth planning and how we can make you stay wealthier for longer then please get in touch by calling 08000 736 273 or email info@solomonsifa.co.uk

Estates: What do I do when someone close dies?Dominic2023-12-01T12:40:11+00:00