EROTICISM & FANTASY? IS THIS ANOTHER CLICKBAIT TITLE?
Whilst some of you are new to the blog and proper financial planning, many of you are aware that financial planning, when done well, is not really about money. Its about you. Your values, your hopes and your lifestyle.
In 2020 most of us took a battering, a year unlike any we had known. Whilst we greeted 2021 with the relief that 2020 was over, we have come to realise that things are far from normal and that there is much that keeps us living with a deep sense of frustration and perhaps fear. As the UK passed 100,000 covid deaths, we recognise another rather depressing landmark.
The restrictions of the pandemic have not been easy, exposing the pressures in our lives and creating new ones. Whether you are married or single, many have found relationships and normal aspects of life to be under pressures that they never imagined. Working from home has its benefits, but the confinement isn’t always helpful. Perhaps your home is empty, perhaps it is rammed full of people, attention and connection has been ruptured. Not being able to hug or kiss friends and family, to enjoy the normality of human interactions has reminded us of who and what is important.
THE IMPACT OF LOCKDOWN
In February and March we all paid the price of investing with exaggerated market volatility, this was mercifully short-lived. It was also within our financial expectations, these things happen, regularly. The cause may be different, but the impact is not. The Government has been spending and it would seem handing out large sums of money to friends, this will have to be repaid by you and me, but what about the price our relationships have paid?
You may now be thinking to yourself, hang on, a financial planner has nothing to do with my relationships, where is this going? Let me cut to the chase. Money is often cited as a major cause of relationship breakdown. I don’t really believe it is. Not having enough or using it how you would like to can be. However, its deeper and more than that – it’s about your expectations which are a concoction of past experiences (“good” and “bad”) and your hopes for the future fused in the present.
Our hopes have been challenged and many have struggled with a sense of the future, particularly for young people. The magnitude of the stress on our wellbeing is significant. We have had many delights and joys removed and we have had to do the work of imagining, finding, creating and trying new ones. The loss of hope can be overwhelming, devastating, flattening and in many cases final.
REGAINING “EROTICISM AND FANTASY”
So, I am going to offer you another real challenge. In our culture, we have little or no education about relationships – in all forms. That’s not to say that we aren’t blasted with messages about them, that is constant, but rarely does intimacy in its broadest sense get discussed. Irrespective of whether you are in a relationship or not, have a look at some of the work by Esther Perel (an expert!).Yes, I am even going to suggest you do pay attention to her work on the erotic, (a word neither of us expected me to use in a financial blog!) a term that she uses broadly. In fact I am going to suggest that you invest (I use the word quite deliberately) all of 46 minutes watching her webcast on YouTube “How Eroticism and Fantasy Can Help You Embrace A New Year”. Now there is a title to frighten you right? …
Perhaps to put your mind at ease, Esther playfully uses the term erotic when “creativity” is the word that resonates. Her talk is about life, not about sex. I appreciate that this may evoke mixed feelings within you, but my intention is simply to offer some access to meaningful hope. Hope and optimism are the oxygen of investors and financial planning.
Don’t worry, I am not going to go any further with this, other than to say that if a financial plan is simply about money, it isn’t really your plan, its probably someone else’s. Your plans are unique to you and I know that at the heart of them is relationship and a sense of connectedness. Remember the redemption of Mr Scrooge just a month ago?
With my very best intentions, I challenge/encourage you to watch… If I have overstepped the mark, accept my apologies, if it’s helpful let me know. You need to start the video at 1:30 – it was a livestream broadcast.
You can read more articles about Pensions, Wealth Management, Retirement, Investments, Financial Planning and Estate Planning on my blog which gets updated every week. If you would like to talk to me about your personal wealth planning and how we can make you stay wealthier for longer then please get in touch by calling 08000 736 273 or email email@example.com
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